


sleep on the floor, dream about me

by orphan_account



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Produce 101 Japan
Genre: M/M, POV Second Person, noir makes sweeping generalizations about a show that hasn't started yet for an entire fic straight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 08:10:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20597519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Your lungs squeeze even more, and you realize - maybe that's it. Dancing is what you do, what you've done your whole life; it's what you were born for, you have it in your bones. And it's not Kawanishi's distractingly cute face or perfect hairstyle that put you so on guard around him; it's rivalry. He's your rival. Even if he doesn't know it yet.





	sleep on the floor, dream about me

It's not fair, how much he suits red hair.

Kawanishi (he's asked you about ten times to call him _Takumi-san_ or something, seriously, it's fine, but there's a large part of you that wants to keep your distance; you call most of the other guys by just their last names, anyway, so it's not like he's _special _or anything) isn't remotely the only trainee with dyed hair. _You _have dyed hair, for god's sake. But that red hair of his is like a beacon; you see it even when you close your eyes.

He's got the kind of face the K-pop fans watching will like, and he's talented, even if he stays in the class A practice room until 2 in the morning practicing. He has no reason to lack confidence, but he does. And his hair looks _amazing _on him.

"I dyed it for the show," he admits, fussing with his bangs, during a conversation that's technically with Mamehara that you're not _eavesdropping _on, but you are listening to. "All throughout high school, my hair was easy - shave it for baseball and that's it - and then I got this job, and again, easy, just keep it short. But I knew I had to do _something _to stand out..."

Mamehara laughs, and something in your lungs gives out. "Takumi-kun, you're already one of the best dancers here. I'm pretty sure you would've stood out, anyway."

Your lungs squeeze even more, and you realize - maybe that's it. Dancing is what you do, what you've done your whole life; it's what you were born for, you have it in your bones. And it's not Kawanishi's distractingly cute face or perfect hairstyle that put you so on guard around him; it's rivalry. He's your rival. Even if he doesn't know it yet.

* * *

You take a break the next night - you've nearly got the choreography for Tsukame down, but you're a perfectionist, and the re-evaluations are tomorrow, and good _god _do you want to keep your rank. You stand outside in the night air and drink a sports drink, and when you're done, you head back inside.

Everyone else is gone, to your surprise. Well, everyone except Kawanishi, who's sitting on the floor with his head in his hands.

You drop your bag, surprised; the noise makes him snap his head up. "Oh, hey, Ren-san," he says, with a tiny smile.

"...You good?" you ask, after a second, sitting down next to him. "You weren't, like...crying or anything?"

"Oh, uh, no. I'm fine," Kawanishi replies. "I just needed a second."

You nod. "I get it."

"You're really good, by the way, Ren-san," Kawanishi says, after a moment. "Like, your dancing is good, but you just have something that makes people want to look at you. Charisma, I guess."

You shake your head. "Charisma's something you can practice," you say, eventually. "It's all facial expressions. People say you're born with it, but I'm not sure that's true. And anyway, you'd know a thing or two about that, huh?" you say, playfully bumping his shoulder against yours. 

Kawanishi shakes his head. "No, I don't think so."

You raise your eyebrows, and Kawanishi continues, obviously embarrassed. "I mean, I've never danced or anything before, so I can't be _that _good, right? Same with the singing. I'm absolutely terrified about tomorrow," he admits, and tears do well up in his eyes.

You tentatively wrap an arm around his shoulders, ignoring the jackhammer pace of your heart. "I don't think you have any reason to doubt yourself, Kawanishi, but even then...I don't know. I get like that sometimes, too."

He raises his eyebrows, surprised and hopeful. "Even you, Ren-san?"

"Especially me," you say, grinning. "And if you weren't scared about tomorrow, I'd think you were crazy."

That makes Kawanishi laugh, and you laugh, too. So you're rivals - if you say it enough times, it might even come true - but you can be friends, and you can squeeze his shoulder just a little bit tighter without it meaning anything.

* * *

(When you're both re-sorted into A, Kawanishi grins at you like you're the sun, and it's so bright that you have to look away.)

**Author's Note:**

> i am literally the least valid person on earth. might continue this series later but it'll be after the 25th.  
forever unbeta'd, c/c welcome.  
title from broken social scene's "anthems for a 17 year old girl"
> 
> [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/noir_fics) | [curiouscat](http://www.curiouscat.me/noir_fics)


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